Boondock Puffins

Post wedding, we set off in what looked to be an ex-tour minibus on a gatecrashed honeymoon/school trip to the Colca Canyon. The journey to simply get out of Arequipa took about an hour, and then a few more hours took us on a crazy route along very dusty roads, filled with expanses of nothingness and a lot of trucks, over a mountain pass 5000m up. A few members of the party suffered with altitude sickness, and our friend had made sure to bring an emergency oxygen tank.

We stopped high on the pass at a place where you can see so many volcanoes (some of which were erupting). It was not only the volcanoes that were visible, but there were also lots and lots of little piles of stones – a Peruvian offering to the gods for protection and safety on travels.

While most Peruvians drive like a bat out of hell, we had drawn the short straw and had the world’s slowest minibus driver. Possibly this was because he had a ‘new’ bus and so was highly protective over it. In his defence, it is somewhat telling that the Peruvian word for speed bump is ‘undercarriage scraper’.

Eventually, we made it to our destination which was the awesome Colca Lodge, complete with incredible rooms, a river and hot springs. As we arrived late in the day, most of the party went straight to the hot springs but we went for a run/exploration along the river first, then jumped in the hot springs for a pre-supper soak. Sitting in the dark in the warmth with the freezing air pinching at any skin outside the protection of the water, we watched the sky, spotting shooting stars whizz across the inky background, studded with little pearls. The Milky Way just in view brightened the darkest parts of the sky.

Following this, we had a perfect supper of traditional Peruvian foods – namely ceviche and multiple sorts of potato dishes! We went to bed with the intention of going for an early morning run along and through the river.

This plan turned out to be a success, and the morning excursion was great fun. Back in time for hotel breakfast, followed by another school-like trip to further along the canyon where we spent a happy hour spotting condors… and trying to avoid tourists. As a tip, if you embark on this trip, take time to walk past the first 100m of the viewing platforms and rather take a hike along the canyon. This happily takes you away from the hoarders who are just ticking off TripAdvisor’s “Top 10 things to do in Peru” and into a much more honest picture of Peru.

Piling back into the bus, we set off once more towards Colca Lodge, packed up our bags and headed back to Arequipa. A solid supper of a shared stew followed by hot chocolate and puddings at another local café set us up well for a deep night’s sleep before our final day in Arequipa.

Having spent another happy night in the Viza hotel, we had breakfast, checked out of the hotel and lugged our bags over to our friend’s apartment and pondered how to have an adventure for the day in and around the city while not being late for our night bus to Ica.

We decided to follow our friend’s instructions for a fun hike – he told us to get a taxi to “Santa Maria” and then to walk along the side of the river. We’re still uncertain as to what went wrong with the instructions given, whether they were dodgy directions or whether we were terrible at following them but either way, we certainly had an adventure! There was no obvious path, and after a bit of amateur bush-whacking, we made our own track. We ended up meeting some very unfriendly farmers, but had a wonderful time exploring regardless. After finding no return path, we did an about face, heading back somehow along a different path despite doing a direct U-turn. We made it back to the city centre in time to play a good few games of backgammon with our friends before setting off in a Peruvian equivalent of an Uber in the tiniest, falling-to-pieces, windows broken and no handle to even try to wind them up or down, ancient Renault Twingo… not the most comfy ride but nevertheless we climbed in and, saying goodbye to Arequipa, we headed for the bus station.